Running On Faith

On June 29, 2008, I ran my first 5k in Colona, IL; “The 2nd Annual Hennepin Hustle.” The run consisted of a flat 3.1 mile trek around a beautiful canal full of greenery and birds singing their morning song. My wife, children, and mother-in-law were awaiting me at the finish line. My brother-in-law Andy was there as well by phone congratulating me and telling me he was proud of my accomplishment. My father-in-law was gracious enough to get up early and ride with me to the race and participate by walking. I had a tremendous amount of support there to encourage me to run and finish. It was a very beautiful moment for me. A moment I will always cherish.

It was also the first step in my life long goal to run a marathon. It has not been easy getting to this point and I still have a long road ahead of me. When I began the process of really making this a reality, which started last July, I was extremely over weight and well out of shape. When I moved to Texas in July of 2006, I was at the heaviest I had ever been; 310 pounds. On my 5’10 frame, this was the makings of a heart attack or stroke.

In May of 2007, I turned 30 years old. Realizing that if I did not change my ways soon that I would not live to be around to turn gray and outspoken with my wife, and possibly see the legacy that God would build of radical Christ loving children; I knew I had to start doing something. So I began to run. I live next to a cemetery (divine irony and very fitting) that is semi paved with a quarter mile track. I started slow and would run one minute and walk two minutes. I did that off and on for several weeks until I was ready to be more aggressive. As God provided a teaching and coaching job for me in July, my workout teetered a bit, but I remained faithful to run as much as I could.

In January of 2008, I realized I needed an immediate goal. The marathon was obviously a long way off. I needed something I could accomplish now. So I set a goal to run a 5k and finish the race in under 40 minutes. And I wanted to do it by my thirty first birthday. I increased my workouts and watched my diet. By this time my weight was down to about 285 pounds and I was able to exercise for 30-40 minutes straight. By the time May 24th rolled around I was running 2 miles straight at a 12 minute mile pace. Unfortunately, the Friday before I was to run my first 5k, I hurt my neck badly and was not able to run. I was doing push-ups with my 7th grade athletics class and something popped in my neck. I was out the entire Memorial Day weekend. This was not the first set back I had to deal with.

When I began this process ( in 2006) I had to overcome several obstacles. First, I had a severe staff infection all over my body. The infection produced sores that would inflame at times and a rash that burned in my groin area. God allowed that to continue for 9 months. After that went away my back continually went out of alignment and caused a lot of pain while I ran. There were times when my knees hurt so bad I could barely lift them up the three steps to get onto my porch. I had to overcome a great deal of spiritual and mental fatigue as well. There were days when my mind could not wrap itself around the idea of running three miles at a time and would be discouraged and distracted. Also, my soul would grow weary. It is amazing how many different voices will preach to my soul telling me to give up or that I would fail just as I have in the past. Over and over I would hear this as I am trying to run. It was at that time I pleaded with God to only hear His voice, the voice of truth. The voice of faithfulness. A lesson I have learned from all of this is that God is faithful.

The first day I went out to run the quarter mile track around cemetery, I remember praying to God a very deep hearted but simple prayer; please do not kill me while I run. Please let my heart continue to beat properly and the blood to get where it needs to go without any problems. This is a prayer I continue to pray today. Every time I run it is a testimony of Gods faithfulness. It is by His grace that I have the air to breathe and lungs that are healthy enough to use it. It is by His mercy that my legs work well enough to run for any length of time. It is only by His patience that I have not died in my gluttony; which is a sin. God is faithful. And He will be faithful according to all he desires for me.

Just as God had been faithful in the past runs, God was faithful on June 29th. God woke me up at 4:20am to spend time with Him in His word and in prayer. He warned me of how my pride could swell up and try to suffocate my soul from God’s life giving word if I try to run on my own strength. He showed me that in (1 Chronicles 21: 1-22:19). He also showed me in Acts 9 how the Apostle Paul was called to be a chosen vessel to suffer for God’s name sake and that I may be called to suffer for His name’s sake as well. And just as God was faithful with the Apostle Paul He will be faithful with me; and this race is proof.

God allowed my father-in-law and I to safely arrive at the race and hour early which allowed us to visit and fellowship. The race began at 8am and God was there with me leading the way. God was faithful to encourage me when I grew tired and wanted to quite. He did this by allowing me to run a 10:30 mile, the fastest I have run since I started. God was faithful to humble me with a stitch in my side that slowed me down by about 4 minutes and let two people pass me. For my attitude was getting haughty and I might have made the same mistake King David did in Chronicles. God was good to allow me to see this work and worship him in it. God was faithful to carry me the last half mile by allowing my wife and children to arrive at the race safely to encourage me to finish strong. God was faithful to allow me to finish in a time of 36:30; under the 40 minute goal I had set previously.

Running has become a time of worship for me. There are times in my life when I am blinded either by sin or suffering or circumstances from the faithfulness of God. In running, this is not the case. Every time I run I see God being faithful. The very fact that I finish and walk into the house is a testimony in and of itself. However, God, through running, has moved me to pray more fervently and sing more vigorously praises to His name. There are times when my physical exhaustion is likened to my spiritual exhaustion, and when the two meet I am forced to plead with God for strength. Many times God shows me my sin while I mediate during the run and corrects me with his word. Most times, He captures me with His beauty in a morning sun rise and His gentle touch by a cool breeze on a warm night. Often I hear His creation praising Him through the wrestling of the leaves in the trees and the singing of birds in the fields of hay settled along the road.

God has shown Himself glorious to me in running. I pray that He continues to move me to run and worship Him in it. Lord willing, I hope to run a few more 5k’s before moving onto a 10k. After the 10k I hope to prepare for half marathon and then a full marathon. My goal is the qualify for the Boston Marathon. If God is wiling, I hope to fulfill this before I turn 40 years old. God only knows and by His grace I hope to magnify Him in this work. Until then, please pray for me to be faithful and continue in the work. I know I have hard road ahead of me. However, I know I serve a God who is faithful.

Filled To The Brim: Gods Glorification or Self Gratification

An indicator of my satisfaction in Christ is seen best when my cup (my heart) is frustratingly bumped. What spills over shows what I’m satisfied in; Gods glorification or my self gratification. If bitterness is the overflow in my frustration, then I am feasting on my own glory. I am feeding the endless appetite of my own ego with the stale leftovers of self significance.

However, if love for mercy and passion for forgiveness eagerly spring forth; and a sweet enjoyment of Gods sovereignty in the moment, regardless or my circumstance, erupts out of my heart like a dam that is overcome by the pressing water; then I know I am filled with the Spirit of God. I am feasting on His glory and enjoying Him in the fellowship of His Son Jesus.

The Fruit of Both of These Are Significant.

The root of self gratification is vanity. Vanity is the belief that indulging in yourself is more gratifying, more pleasurable, and more satisfying than God. It is a pursuit of "self-seeking"( self interest, self glory, self pleasure, self-gain, etc.) This is blasphemy and very deadly. This is deadly because it is rooted in unbelief; namely that God is not our all in all. Paul warns of self indulgence's deadliness in 1 Timothy 5:6 “ but she who is self-indulgent is dead even while she lives.” Jesus warned the Pharisees of their self-indulgence in Matthew 23:25. In verse 27 he said they “…are full of dead people’s bones and all uncleanness.” A life of self-indulgence is a dead life. And when your cup is pushed, deadness is what pours out of it. The world sees this on a regular bases and is unimpressed. A cup full of deadness is a dime a dozen and not worth even a sip.

The fruit of God’s glorification is eternal joy. When God call us to “Taste and see that the Lord is good,” he promises a blessing to the man that trust in Him. That blessing is an absolute and eternal fulfillment in satisfying every dark corner of our vast heart. In Psalm 16:11 we see a glimpse of what awaits us when we empty ourselves and come into the presence of God; “ You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” In His presence we are promised joy and eternal pleasures. All of these pleasures are at the right hand of God. And it is Christ who is seated at His right hand. In Christ "we have the confidence to enter the holy places by the blood of Jesus, 20by the new and living way that he opened for us through the curtain, that is, through his flesh, 21and since we have a great priest over the house of God.”(Hebrews 10:19)

The only way to draw near to God with confidence is through Christ. The only way to Christ is to be empty of yourself. There is no room for self-indulgence in Christ. This is what it means to crucify yourself daily. It is so that you may be filled with more of Christ and less of yourself. In doing so God pours His love into our hearts through the Holy Spirit (Romans 5:5). The result is His love spilling out of us and onto those who around us; even those who frustratingly bump our cups; intentionally or unintentionally. The world marvels at this and is drawn to drink.

The question I pose to myself and to you is, “What is your cup filled with? Is it Godliness or Godlessness?” If you don't know, watch and see how you react when you are "bumped." Be good and God bless.

Six Charges For My Graduating Senior (Rusty Collins)

1. Trust in the Lord with all your heart.

To trust in the Lord with all of your heart is to be undeniably sold out to God through His Son King Jesus. It is to be unapologetically committed, without reserve, to the Lord in the salvation of your soul and the direction of your life. To be sold out is to be confident in His leading, careless in your loving, secure in your yielding, and sure in His salvation.

2. Lean not on your own understanding.

To trust in the Lord with all of your heart is to have a healthy distrust of your self. It is to submit your limited and finite understanding to the infinite wisdom of almighty God. Worship in the words “ I don’t know” and plea for God give you understanding. Hear the words of Jeremiah the prophet as he proclaimed in verse 23 of the 10th chapter; “O Lord, I know the way of man is not in himself; it is not in man who walks to direct his own steps.”

3. In all your ways acknowledge Him.

In all your ways submit to the Lordship of Christ. In everything you do, whether you eat or drink, you do it all for his glory and by his grace. You have no ownership in your life. You have been bought with a price. You are not your own. You must have no will of your own, only a single pure desire to put Christ on display by abiding in His will. (Believers Bible Commentary pg 798)

4. Do not be wise in your own eyes.

Satan’s self-righteousness banished him from the eternal pleasures of His maker. He believed he was wise in his own eyes. He tried to elevate himself above God. God will destroy the proud. Just as Satan was banished from God’s presence for his pride, so shall you be banished in your self-righteousness from your eternal joy; namely Jesus. It is hateful to God and to Christ to walk in self-righteousness. In doing so you call the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit a liar. Humble yourself before the Lord and He will exalt you. Ask for wisdom and He will give it freely. Heed the warning from Proverbs 16:18, “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.”

5. Fear the Lord.

“The Lord reigns, let the earth rejoice; let the many coastlands be glad! Clouds and thick darkness are all around Him; righteousness and justice are the foundation of His throne. Fire goes before Him and burns up His adversaries all around. His lightening light up the world; the earth sees and trembles. The mountains melt like wax before the Lord, before the Lord of all the earth. The heavens proclaim His righteousness and all peoples see His glory!” (Psalm 99: 1-6) Be in awe of His power. Be enthralled by His majestic beauty. Live knowing He can kill your body. Die believing He can destroy your soul! Do this that you may live. He is God and there is no other; He is the Lord and there is none like Him!

6. Depart from evil.

Departing from evil is committing treason against your will and aligning yourself with the omnipotent God. It is setting a course to confront the evil tidings of your heart and to prevail in the command; “ Be holy, for I Am Holy.” (Lev 11:44) The world is evil. Therefore to depart from evil is to detach yourself from the world; which is a holy convocation. R.C. Sproul said in his book The Holiness of God, “ We are to be purified daily in our pursuit of holiness.” Your life will be marked by what you pursue. If you pursue the world, it will be marked with worldliness. If you pursue Christ, it will be marked by holiness.

There is a promise neatly tucked in these charges. If you do these things God promises to direct your path, or literally “make your way smooth and strait.” This does not mean that trouble will not seem to triumph at times in your life. What it means is that no matter what, “All things will work together for the good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8:28)