Insight To Text
(Here is s sermon I preached a week ago while my pastor was on vacation. The issue of biblical parenting has been weighing in my heart for some time. I truely believe the root of why our youth are leaving the church is becasue the parents of today are spiritually neglecting their children at home. Rarely is God worshiped at home through a family alter. Rarely is God seen glorious through consistency and character by the motives and actions of mothers and fathers. Rarely is God experienced as enjoyable before the hearts of our kids. So when pastor Dave asked me to preach while he was gone, I chose a fairly broad text to try to bring us to a narrow conclusion; it is the parents responisbility to spiritually nurture their children. And that is the most loving thing they could do. (I will display this sermon in two post becasue of its length.)
Two Points To Consider
It could be very condescending of me to stand here and preach a sermon on parenting or child rearing being who I am and where I am in life. It is not my goal to personally attack anyone’s parenting skills or abilities. However, it is my goal to present to you what the bible calls for us parents in rearing our children. And if this truth draws conviction in areas of my parenting or your parenting, then my prayer is that the Holy Spirit would make Himself so obvious to us that our immediate course of action would be to repent of our sin, incorporate a biblical model of parenting, and not kill the youth pastor. That being said, I would like to provide a couple scaffold supports to help us stand on the truth more clearly.
The verdict is out on my children.
I stand here preaching a truth that I am in the beginning stages of working through. My children are young and still impressionable. We are dealing with the terrible twos and threes; not the explosive teens. Therefore I cannot show you an end result of my own personal experience. I am preaching this message to myself in faith and ask you to take this message the same. However, please know that I understand where some of you could easily say “Who are you to tell me about parenting? You have not been through what I have had to walk through.” That is why I am approaching this subject with fear and trembling.
A preacher must preach; even if he lacks experience.
There are many times when God has called men to preach truths that lack personal experience. For example, many of the Old Testament prophets preached the coming of the messiah, knowing that they would probably never see Him on earth. Many Godly men have preached on the sin of adultery without the experience of committing adultery. The experience is not the validating factor in the message; the truth is. The fact that I lack a certain degree of experience in parenting does not negate the message. The truth is the truth. I am responsible for doing all that I can to present it accurately and rightly. It is your responsibility as a believer to engage and apply it to your life.
Chief End Of Every Family
The Westminster Confession states that the chief end of every man (or human being) is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. They base this off of texts like Isaiah 43:7 which says, “ everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made."; or Psalms 144:15, “Blessed are the people to whom such blessings fall! Blessed are the people whose God is the LORD!”; Isaiah 12:2 “Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and will not be afraid; for the LORD GOD is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation." Everyone who is called by His name was created for the sole purpose of bringing Him glory. Our purpose in life is to make much of God, not ourselves. And some theologians like John Piper would argue that we make much of God by enjoying Him. When we enjoy God we delight in who He is as God, His ways, His commands, and so forth. In turn this creates a life of obedience that magnifies the name of our God.
That being said, I would argue that the chief end of every God ordained family is to glorify God and enjoy him forever; being an extension of our individual purpose. Once a man and a women unite in marriage, the bible says they become one. Genesis 2:23-24 says, “The man said, This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman, for she was taken out of man. Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” As seen in the text, God ordained marriage to be an indissoluble union where a man and a woman would become complete. John MacArthur put it like this in his commentary, “ One flesh speaks of a complete unity of parts making a whole with two people; one cluster, many grapes or one God with three persons. Thus the marital union was complete and whole with two people.” The man and the woman are so permanently joined that divorce should be inconceivable. What God has put together, let no man tear apart (Matthew 19:6).
One of the blessings that result from the perfect union of two is a child. Thus the family is born in one. As they begin their lives together they separate from their parents and become unified as one family. As they bear children the family extends never loosing its “oneness.” Therefore the purpose of the man and woman remains the same for the entire family; namely to glorify God and enjoy him forever. The question that comes to mind then is “how do we doe this?” But first, let us define our role as parents. This role has been ripped and shredded in our post modern society so much that the truth cannot be seen through the cloud of vague political correctness. It is essential that we begin here in order to catch hold of the vision God has for us as parents.
What Is Good Parenting?
In today’s society we have been given a slew of parenting styles. Most of them are unbiblical and miss the mark in accomplishing good behavior; let alone godliness. We are told that corporal punishment is unloving, that clear guidelines with consequences is to restricting, and that traditional values are outdated. But contrary to popular belief, the bible still holds to be the most supreme parenting resource. It explains why our children at two and three years old are naturally selfish and need to be taught the right way. The bible helps us understand why teenagers can be just as selfish and how they have the uncanny ability of pushing us to the very outer limits of our sanity, and how we should respond lovingly. The bible is clear that if we are to fulfill our purpose in life as a family, which is to glorify God and enjoy him forever. Our parenting is radically different from the worlds. Our goal is not to just produce good moral abiding citizens who pursue good careers and take care of their families; albeit those are nice qualities. Our goal is to lead them to the one thing that can genuinely satisfy them and save them from the coming damnation; Christ Jesus.
With that being said I am proposing a very narrow definition of a good parent by the world’s standards to say the least. A good parent is one who’s life ambition is to rear their children up to taste and see that the Lord is good, in hope that they would trust in Him, because this is the most loving thing they could do (Psalm 34:8). And any parenting style that does not make this its aim is godless and unloving.
Train Up By Your Example
The connotation of the Hebrew word for train is to discipline. In this context it leads us to consistently and lovingly discipline our children throughout their upbringing. Discipline is not limited to corporal punishment or strong structure. Discipline encompasses a life style of Godliness. The apostle Paul explains this life style in 1 Corinthians 9: 24-27, “ Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may obtain it. And everyone who competes for the prize is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a perishable crown, but we run for an imperishable crown. Therefore I run thus: not with uncertainty. Thus I fight: not as one who beats the air. But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified." Paul uses several athletic analogies to convey the walk of a true believer. Just as an athlete fine tunes his body by restricting his diet and consistently working his body with rigor, so does the Christian with is soul. We fight for our faith and purity in order to pursue our happiness in Gods holiness. And in order to do so we must be disciplined in our efforts. Not only as individuals, but as a family.
Discipline is striving daily to take up your cross and walk with the Lord. Discipline is reading your bible everyday and putting into practice the truths you have gleaned. Discipline is making the Sabbath holy and making it your number one priority over anything else. It takes discipline to come to church every Sunday. It takes even more discipline to make it a priority above sports or school events. Discipline is religiously teaching the word of God at home day in and day out. Training a child up consist of a life style that is committed to God’s supremacy in everything. And consistency in your commitment must be lead by example of the parents. If the parents do not hold to Christ as their supreme value, and discipline themselves to do so, then the children will not do so as well, no matter how much you tell them. That is why God gave us such a radical mandate in Deuteronomy 6:5-9 “You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. 6And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. 7You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. 8 You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 9You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”
The "Way" Is The Way
Jesus said in John 14:6, “I am the way, the truth, and the life, no one comes to the Father, except through me.” The word translated "way" in this text is equivalent to the word used in out text this morning. The “way” in both texts means a road or a path. Without trying to add to the text something that may not be there, I found something rather interesting with the root of the word train and the meaning of the word way. When you look at the root of the Hebrew word for train; it means narrow. If you put that context with the word way; you see that the way is narrow. It is a narrow road traveled on. It reminds me of Matthew 7:13-14 where Jesus warns “Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.” The word “way” used in both of these text is the same word used in John 14:6 and Proverbs 22:6. Now if we examine this text closely in relation to parenting we see things developing. Essentially Matthew 7:13-14 is speaking of salvation. Those who are of the world and not of Christ walk on a broad road leading them to hell. It is a very popular road with many people on it. On the other side of the text we see the narrow way. Only those who have placed their trust in Christ and love Him as Lord, Savior, and Treasure are on this road which leads to eternal life. Notice, very few are on this road.
A sad reality in today’s society is that there are many children walking on the broad road. It is not crowded with just murderers and rapist and Hitler types; you know the ones that are obviously going to hell. In actuality it is crowded with young boys and girls running and skipping their way to the place where the fire never stops, and the pain is so immense that your teeth are in a continuous state of gnashing. And the really sad reality is that it has become a family affair. There are many parents holding the hands of their children on this road galloping along with them s if they were walking in the park on their way to a picnic.
Why is this so? Because families are not taking responsibility for rearing the spiritual welfare of their children. Many families, at best are leaving it up to the pastor and youth pastors to feed and nurture the souls of their children. Many families are refusing walk on the narrow way. I’m not just talking about the lost. I expect it from the lost. I see more and more of it in the church. William Scribner, a puritan preacher says this, “Often children are not converted because parents leave their work to others. valuable though Sunday school teachers are, no parent can be released from the obligation of striving by his own personal efforts to lead his children to Christ. We are commanded to bring our children up "in the fear and nurture of the Lord."
One of the reasons why I believe so many of our young people are falling away from the church after their freshman year of college is because they were spiritually neglected at home. They were not trained up (or disciplined) on the narrow way by the ones God gave the responsibility to do the job; the parents.
Think about this reality for a minute. A youth pastor will spend about 2.5 hours of teaching time with their youth a week. The schools get the children 8 hours a day plus any extra curricular activity time; which is at least an extra 3 hours. So the schools get the children 55 plus hours a week. The rest is with their family. Now the average American home watches 8-9 hours of T.V. a day. If you are an average family, out of a 120 hour work week, 55 hours is spent at work or school, 40 hours is spent watching T.V. and 2.5 hours is spent learning about God. Who are the biggest influences? Which is the braod way and which is the narrow?
Do you see where this turns into a life style change? Jesus said the narrow way is the hard way. It is hard rearing your children up in a godless society. It is hard to make time everyday to have family worship; especially after you have worked all day. It is hard to live against the grain of our society, your community, and some of your family. But the commandment is clear in Deuteronomy 6 and 11 and Ephesians 6:4, bring your children up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. And do not just teach, but live them out in your love for God and his supremacy in all things. This is what it means to train them up in the Lord. Radically living for Christ is the only way to ensure they will not depart.
(Part two will come in a few days. It contains more of the application part of the sermon.)
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