Tombstones, Daisies, and Chick-Fil-A: A Childs Question on the Inevitable

One of Bristol’s defining features as a community is its cemetery. It has approximately two acres of land that is nestled between a ranch, a man made pond, and a church. Of course everything is fenced off because that is the American way, and we don’t want any stray cows meddling over the grave sites.
There is a dirt road that circles a portion of the cemetery like a quarter mile track. The road is a mixture of gravel and grass with some paved lanes that are in dire need of repair. There are many lots that have old stones that are weathered and worn down; while others look like they were just set in yesterday. When the sun strikes just right, the new stones provide a burning glow that makes something so dismal appear kind of aesthetic.
The contrast is significant and adds a certain degree of nostalgia. Cemeteries are kind of melancholic in nature. They represent a paradox of absolute uncertainty; death being absolute and the rebuilding of a life after someone has died as uncertainty. There is a sting that comes with death and the swollen after affects carry onto the place where we burry our loved ones. This is so evident that even a child can pick up on it; as did my daughter.
This last Sunday I decided to take a jog around the cemetery. For me seeing the grave stones offer a great reminder of where I will be one day. And if I don’t keep running and eating right, I will be there sooner than I think. My wife and two children decided to walk around the cemetery while I was running. After about twenty minutes of my life flashing before my eyes, I decided to walk with them. As we were walking my four year old daughter asked, “What are all of those stones?” My response was not a well thought out response. When I run I typically pray for God to grant me the ability to breathe and not keel over from a heart attack. Today I was not sure if he was going to answer that prayer the way I desired him to answer. “Well, that is where we burry people who die. It helps us remember where they are.” And of course, if you have ever stepped into a four year-old’s mind, you know the question that is coming next. (For one, the questions never really end; they tend to reproduce themselves like rabbits. Secondly, it is always during the most unprepared and most awkward times the hard questions like to present themselves.)
“Daddy, why do we die?” In my mind I think my response was “Are you serious?” However, by God’s grace I was able to not dodge the question. It would have been really easy to do. I could have given her some flaky “don’t worry about that dear, you will not have to deal with that for a long time” kind of answer. The reality is it may be just around the corner. Everyone lying in those graves had no idea that they were going to die when they woke up that morning. And some of those graves house the bodies of children Naomi’s age. Many of those graves were of fathers who left young children behind. Death does not discriminate by age. It is the most certain reality that does not care what race, ethnicity, sex, age, sexual orientation, or religion you are. It consumes everything.
I tried to explain to my daughter that sin kills everything. When God told Adam and Eve to not eat of the tree of knowledge he warned them that the consequence would be death (Gen 2:16-17 ESV). And when they ate of it that is exactly what happened. Everything began to die. First, they died spiritually. Man became spiritually dead to God and instead of being his friend; became his enemy. This reality of our spiritual death shows itself in the way we view God. Our hearts reek of the decay of lawlessness and hatred toward God.
Secondly, this did not just affect Adam and Eve, but the curse was passed down to all of Adam’s offspring (Romans 5:12-21). Every human being born on this earth is born dead in their sin and at enmity with God (Romans 8:7-8). It seems absurd to use two words like born and dead in that context, but that is the actuality of our given state. We are “born” "dead" in our sin. (Eph 2:1 ESV)
Thirdly, our souls were not the only thing affected by Adam and Eve’s rebellion. God also said that our bodies would perish also, “ …till you return to the ground, for out of it you were taken; for you are dust, and dust you shall return.” (Gen 3:19 ESV) We are nothing more than glorified dirt. And once we are done on this earth, we will return to being just dirt.
I am not trying to sound condescending or inhumane towards the value of human life. Our value comes from God because we are made in his image (Gen 1:27 ESV). We are also made to display his glory (Is 43:7). We have value. However, our value is not in our health, wealth, or prosperity; our value is in a God who created the heavens and the earth and took dirt and made it something almost as amazing and incomprehensible as he is.
Needless to say I did not communicate this truth to my daughter as eloquently as I may have here. She responded by saying “I don’t want to die daddy.” I told her I understood how she felt and that I pray that God allows her to live a long time. I also told her that it is something that is going to happen and I want you to be prepared when the time comes. You see, Jesus took the sting out of death so that we do not have to be afraid (1 Corinthians 15:55-56). If you love Jesus, if you make him your Lord and treasure, then death is nothing more than an open door for eternal joy or in her understanding: a really long time to eat and play at Chick-Fil-A.